


24/7

by dulcepcy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, ChanSoo - Freeform, Hint of a love triangle?, Illness, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, chanyeol needs a hug, kyungsoo isn’t so sure, maybe angst with a happy or ambiguous ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:29:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 10,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dulcepcy/pseuds/dulcepcy
Summary: "I think about it 24/7. I can't shake this empty feeling."Chanyeol is dying. Kyungsoo has no clue.
Relationships: ChanSoo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first fic so please let me know what you think! I was inspired by the song 24/7 by EXO.

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo stared at the photograph. He was holding it so tightly his knuckles were white. Any tighter and the picture would have a crease that could never be fixed. And yet Kyungsoo continued to stare. The photograph was of himself. Well himself and a ghost. A ghost of a person he once knew. Once loved. Kyungsoo fell asleep still gripping the photograph. 

He tried not to think of him. He really did. He had read books, went out to the arcade, drank beers with friends. And yet Chanyeol still entered his mind. The thought of Chanyeol hurt Kyungsoo a lot. Their break was months ago. His friends would urge him to get back out there. But Kyungsoo was still in so much pain. Chanyeol had been a good man to him. He would gift him things and spend time with him. Love him in ways no one ever did. Or ever could. Chanyeol had become Kyungsoo’s home. Which seemed to make the break up that much harder. 

Kyungsoo pushed the thought out of his head. He had much to do today anyways. He had to work at his dad's convenience store, where he’d finish his essay for his culinary class and then, well, nothing. He actually wasn’t busy. Baekhyun's visiting family at the moment and Jongdae is usually busy with work. And that’s where Kyungsoo's list of friends end. All his other friends were Chanyeol's first. After the break up Kyungsoo couldn’t stand to be around them. Too much of Chanyeol. But a couple of weeks after it seemed normal. However one by one, as if slowly being picked off like pedals of a flower, they left. Or suddenly became too busy to ever hang out. It’s okay though. He knew it could probably happen sooner or later. They must have thought they had to choose. Or something. He didn’t really understand people. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chanyeol**

Everything hurt. Though Chanyeol guessed this would be his new normal. He wished he could just rip out the tube. It hurt. He’d been getting chemo for about 4 months now. He was surprised he hadn’t lost all his hair yet. Although the color seemed gone and the volume was nowhere to be seen. Chanyeol began to wonder if he'd ever come to accept what's happening to him.  _ Probably never, _ he thought. He felt so cold. Always freezing even if it was the summer. He needed warmth. Physical touch.  _ Maybe I could try reaching out to Kyungsoo _ . No. He couldn’t do that to him. He broke his heart yes. But he did it so in case he did die, Kyungsoo wouldn't be so close. He knew Kyungsoo would never recover if he saw him like this, let alone if he  _ died.  _ So yes, shattering Kyungsoo's heart was necessary. He still remembered the day clearly. It had been date night. Which meant movies and candy and popcorn. It was a kid movie they'd probably both seen a million times. Chanyeol watched Kyungsoo as he concentrated on the movie.  _ So beautiful,  _ he thought to himself. It ached his heart to know what he was about to do. But he must. He’d pushed off chemo long enough. The doctors had already advised him to start 4 weeks ago. So Chanyeol managed to gather courage where he felt only fear. He was surprised he hadn't cried himself. It took everything to look into Kyungsoo's coffee eyes and not tell him he had a 50% chance of living and the farther the distance from each other the better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo jumped when he heard his phone chime with a text, he had been invested in a new book he'd gotten from the library earlier that week. He wondered who it could be. Jongdae was working per usual and Baekhyun was on a date tonight.  _ Maybe Mom,  _ he figured. His eyes widened when he read the name,  _ Jongin. _ What? Why was Chanyeol's best friend messaging  _ him? _ He forced himself to read the message, holding his breath unconsciously.

**_Hey Soo, I know it's been a while. Maybe too long but do you wanna meet up for a drink?_ **

Kyungsoo let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. He reread the message about ten times. For a moment he just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. Jongin reminded Kyungsoo of Chanyeol, which usually led to drinking away the memories and crying to sad music. But in the back of Kyungsoo's head he knew, he should probably get out of the house. And for once talk to someone who wasn't his parents or best friends. No matter if the person was Jongin who is Chanyeol's best friend. And secretly Kyungsoo wanted to ask what he's been up to since breaking his heart.  _ I wonder if he's found someone new.  _ No, Kyungsoo can't think of things like that. So, it was decided.

**_Hey! Sure how about Ralph’s at 9?_ **

Kyungsoo waited, only for a moment.

**_Sounds like a plan_ **

Kyungsoo felt something in his chest. He wasn't sure what to call it. So he went and got ready. Black shirt, black jeans, and a blue jean jacket with his hair swept to the side. Finally just as Kyungsoo walked out the door he found the name for the feeling in his chest.  _ Hope. _ Hope that maybe the future didn't have to be so dark.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chanyeol**

Okay, maybe it  _ was  _ a bad idea to get Jongin to meet up with Kyungsoo. But he needed to know how he was doing. It killed him to not know. So. He managed to recruit Jongin to do the task. They were friends, they had gotten along almost like siblings! Though he made it clear not to reveal his condition. Go out, have fun, drink— but not too much. Chanyeol wished he could have alcohol but the doctors said no. Chanyeol could really use a drink. Or maybe ten. Instead he searched his refrigerator for a bottle sparkling water. He plopped down on the couch, which was a bad idea since his whole body was constantly in pain. With nothing to do he decided to check out how Jongin's night with Kyungsoo was going. 

**_Nini how’s it going? Is Kyungsoo there? How does he look?_ **

He hoped Kyungsoo wouldn’t see the message. Though maybe a small part of Chanyeol did want him to see. 

**_He just walked in. Now stop texting I don’t want him to see!!_ **

Chanyeol sighed. Fine. He’d just invite Sehun over to play some video games. Chanyeol wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he really needed someone to be with him. Almost constantly. But he knew everyone had their own lives so he just suffered in silence. 

**_Sehunnie come over and play some games with me pls_ **

**_Be right there bby_ **

Chanyeol smiled at the nickname. He needed some affection. He only started to appreciate Sehun living so close when he had found out about his illness. Before Sehun had seemed like a clingy younger brother. Now that’s kind of what Chanyeol needed. He had an older sister but she had always been so independent. She had even moved out of the country. Sometimes Chanyeol liked to think he was an only child. She hadn’t even come back to visit him when he revealed his condition. The more Chanyeol thought about it the more angry and upset he got. She was his only blood family left. And she acted like he didn’t exist. The death of their parents had probably been the last straw. Chanyeol grieved the best he could but it was hard, he was already an angry teenager. So you can imagine the things said between Yoora and him. A knock released Chanyeol of those sad thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Jongin**

Jongin didn’t really want to do this favor for Chanyeol. But how can you say no to a friend that could die in a month? So Jongin went along with it. He really did miss Kyungsoo. But it was hard to be around him with such a heavy secret. He knew it’d be better to just slowly talk less and less to him. That’s kind of what  _ all  _ of Chanyeol’s friends figured. It was too much guilt to act as if nothing was wrong while hanging out with Kyungsoo. When in reality everything was wrong. So that’s how he ended up meeting up with Chanyeol’s ex, to find out how the smaller man was doing. He promised his best friend he wouldn’t get too drunk. Since Jongin had a habit of telling the blunt truth when drunk. But as the night went on the drinks didn’t stop. Kyungsoo was so much fun. It was  _ different  _ than these past months. With Chanyeol, Jongin felt like he couldn’t enjoy life or talk about looking forward to the future. Especially since Chanyeol might not get the chance to be a part of it. But with Kyungsoo cracking jokes Jongin couldn't help it. The lying was too much. The guilt was too much. Kyungsoo  _ deserved _ to know. And with about 3 drinks and 6 shots in his system, the walls began to crumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg do yall think jongin is gonna tell kyungsoo the truth???


	6. Chapter 6

**Kyungsoo**

The night was going well. More than well, amazing. Kyungsoo found himself having _fun._ He missed Jongin all those months. And somewhat resented him for choosing Chanyeol’s side. But he couldn’t help but silently forgive him because the taller man was just a teddy bear in disguise. So they laughed all night and drank endlessly. Then suddenly Jongin cleared his throat and Kyungsoo noticed his eyes seemed to water. _Weird. Jongin was never the emotional type of drunk._

“Soo I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I knew it wasn’t my place. Please say you forgive me! I didn’t— I didn’t want to ignore you but the guilt was too much I’m so sorry Soo.” 

Jongin cried to Kyungsoo while clinging to him. The bartender eyed them but moved on to making drinks. _He’s probably seen worse,_ Kyungsoo thought. But for some reason what Jongin said sent chills up his spine. What did Jonging mean it wasn’t his place? His place to say what?

“Nini what do you mean? It wasn’t your place to say what?” Suddenly Kyungsoo felt _very_ sober. A sweat started to build up. He wasn’t even sure why. 

Jongin sniffled,“Chanyeol! He’s sick Soo! So _sick_. I—I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell you! It isn't fair! Why him? He doesn’t deserve this. Soo I’m so sorry.”

Jongin began crying hysterically. Kyungsoo stiffened. _Sick? What does he mean sick?_ Kyungsoo wanted to shake answers out of the taller man who was now crying into his shirt. But a bar wasn’t the place. So Kyungsoo swallowed these terrible feelings, and pushed back these horrifying thoughts and forced Jongin to stand and ushered him out. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Jongdae**

Jongdae was a little annoyed when Kyungsoo messaged him knowing he had to work late, Kyungsoo knew he'd be grumpy. But Jongdae still read it  _ and  _ registered what it said with wide eyes. Jongin wanted to hang out with Soo. What in the world? Why now? Jongin didn’t have to deal with the aftermath that was Kyungsoo's heartbreak. He didn’t have to make sure Kyungsoo had  _ at least _ one meal a day. He didn’t still have to sometimes worry if his friend was okay when they went to places that had once been a “ _ Chanyeol and Kyungsoo _ ” place. No, Jongin really had no right to come barging back into his best friends life as if nothing was wrong. As if he hadn’t helped make everything worse by leaving Kyungsoo to be by Chanyeol's side instead. They weren’t kids. They should know how to be friends with the two of them even  _ if  _ they did break up. But of course Jongdae didn’t voice any of this to his best friend. No. He was a  _ good  _ friend. Unlike Jongin. So he simply told Kyungsoo not to drink too much and enjoy himself. Hopefully Kyungsoo wouldn’t be too hurt being in the presence of Jongin who was practically Chanyeol's brother.  _ Hopefully Kyungsoo has a great night, _ Jongdae thought to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chanyeol** ****

Chanyeol laughed at Sehun’s joke and it caused his whole body to hurt but still Chanyeol continued because feeling this moment of happiness was such a gift. He wished he could relish in it forever.

“Aw! C'mon man you don’t have to play dirty like that!” Chanyeol said loudly even though sehun was right next to him. Sehun giggled doing the move once again. They had been playing Mortal Kombat for about 2 hours and neither man made a move to stop playing. Chanyeol thought maybe Sehun was only doing this because he was sick. “Oh shut up you baby! You always complain when I win but expect me to take it when _you_ win. Stop being a sore loser.” Sehun said as he stuck his tongue out and bumped shoulders with him. Chanyeol just shook his head and got up to get another slice of pizza. 

“So. Did you get Jongin to do your schemey little plan?” The younger man asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Why yes I did! Jongin is with him right at this moment.” Chanyeol replied smiling mischievously. 

“Are you sure it was really a good idea to get him to spy on Kyungsoo instead of actually talking to him? Maybe you won’t feel so guilty now. It’s been _months.”_

Chanyeol hated when Sehun made sense. But still he knew the younger man was right. He knew he should’ve just met up with Kyungsoo. But he _couldn’t._ How was he supposed to come clean about his illness? How does one go about telling the love of their life they’re _dying_ ? You just can’t. Chanyeol shook his head, ”Sehunnie, it's a hard topic. How was I supposed to break it to him? ‘Oh hey Kyungsoo I love you so much I’d rather be asking you to marry me but instead I’m here to tell you I’m _fucking dying_ . Have a nice day!’ No Sehun. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes. The realization. The sadness. The _pity._ It was hard enough telling you guys.” 

Sehun sighed, “I know. I’m sorry Channie, I know this must be difficult for you. I shouldn’t say anything when I know I’d probably do the same thing.” his serious face melted away when Chanyeol stuffed a big bite of pizza into his mouth to lighten the mood. 

_Ding._ Chanyeol recognizes the sound of his phone. 

“Wonder who that is?” He heard Sehun question when Chanyeol turned towards the couch. He froze when he read the message. _Oh no_ , Chanyeol thought. He closed his eyes and tried to process what this meant. What would happen now? Chanyeol's head began to hurt. Though whether from the news he just received or the side effect of chemotherapy he wasn’t sure. 

“Who is it dumdum? Chanyeol? Are you okay?” Sehun's voice became more panicked as he continued to question him. 

Chanyeol sighed, "No, Sehunnie. I am not okay.” Chanyeol walked over to his friend and sat down on the floor beside him, then laid his head on his friends broad shoulders. Surely but slowly Chanyeol began to weep. It was a silent cry with few tears that turned into a rushing river of saline tears stinging his eyes. 

He let his friend read the message. Sehun made a noise that Chanyeol couldn’t interpret, he was too busy crying to care. Because the message Jongin just sent floated in Chanyeol's head. He couldn’t think of anything else besides those few words. 

**_He found out. I’m sorry Chanyeol._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH he finally knows now!!!! also im not sure yet if all the exos will have a chapter/pov yet but i still tagged them all bc you never know!! i will be posting as i continue to write but please let me know how youre liking it <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Chanyeol**

Chanyeol was anxious. He had been all week. He checked his phone constantly, waiting to see when or if Kyungsoo would message him. Cussing him out because Chanyeol had betrayed his trust in ways no man ever should. Curse him for abandoning him. For _dying_ . Chanyeol had even picked up on his childhood habit of biting his nails. _That’s_ how bad his anxiety was. 

The day after Jongin messaged him the news, he also came over to apologize. Which there was nothing to apologize for. Chanyeol knew this was the consequence of him being a coward and not telling Kyungsoo himself. So when Jongin busted into his apartment with tears in his eyes, Chanyeol had told him, “Jongin, there's nothing to be sorry for. It’s for the better. Now stop that crying and give your sick friend a hug.” That had made Jongin smile through his tears. Chanyeol had no use being angry when he didn’t know if he’d die in a week or a month or if he’d actually make it out of this alive. Though he tried to not think about actually surviving this because the hope was too much of a burden at this point. 

Chanyeol thought of all this, including the surviving part, while hooked to the IV. He could tell which days he’d get bruises from the needles and which days he wouldn’t. Today he was positive he’d get some bruising. It was hard to imagine surviving. Though as he looked out the window, Chanyeol imagined a future where he was better and Kyungsoo was by his side and this very moment would be a distant, sad memory. He let himself indulge in that thought for a moment or two. Smiling to himself. 

But Chanyeol looked down to see himself already bruising. And he knew that he could only imagine. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Kyungsoo** ****

Kyungsoo hadn’t left his home in days. He’d only got up to use the restroom or to eat. Which wasn’t often. Kyungsoo had spent most of his week crying. He didn’t show up to work or class. He ignored Jongdae and Baekhyun’s calls and messages. He ignored the knocking, which turned into banging. He wanted to be _alone._

Now Kyungsoo _knew_ he hadn’t dealt with his break up well. His friends had to check on him constantly. But wasn’t that to be expected when you’ve dated a man for more than 5 years? And said man was the love of your life? But _this_ , this was something different. Kyungsoo was truly broken, _shattered_ . He didn’t know Chanyeol could cause him more pain and heartbreak. But somehow he did. And he had a hell of a way of doing it. When Kyungsoo wasn’t crying hysterically or staring blankly at a wall, he was angry. Yeah, being angry at a dying guy doesn’t seem fair but Kyungsoo couldn’t help how he felt. He was _furious_ . How could Chanyeol keep this from him? Why did he have to find out from his friend? Kyungsoo would much rather prefer at least a text from him telling him the truth, and that was _low. But at least it would’ve come from Chanyeol himself._

Kyungsoo stared at his ceiling. He knew he’d have to confront Chanyeol soon. He just didn’t know how. What would he even say? He might just cry on the spot. No, Kyungsoo _couldn’t_ face him. At least not yet. Not now. Not when Kyungsoo was grieving a man that was still breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Soo :(


	11. Chapter 11

**Baekhyun**

Baekhyun had gone three days without hearing from Kyungsoo. Which would’ve been normal until Jongdae told him Kyungsoo met up with Jongin. Chanyeol’s  _ best friend _ . Oh no, the two were connected that much he knew. But he ignored both their calls and messages and he wouldn’t answer the door. Baekhyun  _ knew  _ he had a copy of his key. Just in case of emergencies and this sure as hell counted as one. He just had trouble finding it when he needed it most. Luckily he finally found it tucked away in some shoebox in the back of his closet. Baekhyun remembered how broken his friend had been when Chanyeol broke his heart. And he figured maybe that man’s  _ best friend  _ triggered a memory or something. 

And that’s how Baekhyun ended up at Kyungsoo’s front door with a copied key already in the key hole. 

He hadn’t even bothered knocking. 

“Soo? Ya there?” Baekhyun whispered loudly. He took a look around the place and it was a  _ mess.  _ Which was saying something because Kyungsoo was a neat freak. There was old food on his table, dirty dishes, and random pieces of clothing. 

“Kyungsoo! HELL-FUCKING-O” Baekhyun screamed this time.

He heard a groan come from his room.  _ Makes sense _ , Baekhyun thought. As he walked down in the hall he tried to prepare a speech in his head about how Kyungsoo should just get over Chanyeol, it was him who was gonna miss out on such an amazing person. But those thoughts disappeared as he saw his friend laying in a fetal position facing the door with red, bloodshot eyes. 

_ He’s been crying.  _

“Hey Soo. What’s going on? You’re worrying me and Dae.” Baekhyun spoke softly as he sat on the messy gray sheets. Kyungsoo barely seemed to acknowledge him. 

“Soo.” He said, this time in a more demanding tone. But not mean, never mean. 

“I-I don’t know what to do.” Kyungsoo whispered. Baekhyun set his hand on his friend's face and pushed the hair out of his eyes. 

“Well how about we start by getting you up and something in your stomach?”

So that’s what they did. Baekhyun ran him a warm shower, picked out a new outfit, and while his friend cleaned up Baekhyun cooked him some bacon. Because honestly who doesn’t love bacon at any time of the day? It was only 1 so Baekhyun could say it was brunch. But brunch wasn’t the problem. The problem was what had happened the night he and Jongin went out for drinks. 

Finally Kyungsoo walked into the small dining area and sat across Baekhyun. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. Baekhyun worried. 

“Soo I’m not gonna press you for answers but, I need to know you’re at least going to be okay.” Baekhyun hoped his friend would at least respond. 

A moment passed and after a bite of bacon, finally Kyungsoo spoke. 

“Chanyeol is dying.”

Plain and simple. Straight to the point. Only Baekhyun didn’t understand. He couldn’t have heard right.  _ Right? _

“What?” Kyungsoo took another bite of bacon, and swallowed. 

“Chanyeol is dying and he didn’t tell me. Jongin got too drunk and let out the secret.” How was Kyungsoo saying these words so easily? _ Probably because he’s in shock,  _ he thought. 

“I don’t know what to say. There’s no way Chanyeol is— I mean, there’s got to be some mistake right? Jongin was drunk. You can’t trust him intoxicated like that.” Baekhyun reasoned. 

Suddenly Kyungsoo dropped the piece he had been eating and began sobbing. 

“He’s d-dying B-Baek and he didn’t tell me. How could he live like that? J-Jongin told me again when he got s-sober later that night and then l-left.” 

There was absolutely no way Chanyeol could be dying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pause baekhyun is such a good friend to kyungsoo im soft


	12. Chapter 12

**Jongdae** ****

Jongdae had enlisted Baekhyun to physically check on Kyungsoo while he went to meet up with Jongin. As he drove to meet him at the park he went over what had happened in his head.

He had messaged Jongin to figure out what happened the night they went out. He knew it must’ve been something Jongin said or did. It was not a nice conversation.

**_Hey asshole what the hell did you do to Kyungsoo?_ **

He received a message instantly. 

**_I didn’t do anything._ **

****

Jongdae scoffed. _Really? Was he really going to play the clueless act?_

**_Jongin. What happened the night you two went out? He hasn’t spoken to us in days._ **

**_I don’t really wanna talk about it._ **

Jongdae had had enough of it. Why the hell was he acting like this? Jongdae was not only concerned about his best friend. He was _pissed_ at this dumbass. 

**_Jongin if you don’t fucking tell me what the HELL happened I will seriously go to your place and cut your tires. I know you had something to fucking do with this. You KNOW how badly he dealt with his breakup with Chanyeol. And this is even WORSE._ **

There. _That should get a response out of him,_ Jongdae thought. 

Yet he waited. He waited a couple of hours. Jongdae knew he just didn’t want to answer because he was right. 

_Ding._ Finally Jongdae reached for his phone. Only this message wasn’t from Jongin but from Bakehyun. Had he _finally_ gotten a hold of Kyungsoo? 

**_Dae. It’s bad. We need to talk ASAP._ **

_Ding._ Another message before Jongdae could even process what Baekhyun said. This one was from Jongin. 

**_You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s meet up tomorrow at Holland park at noon._ **

Jongdae’s stomach churned. He did not have a good feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmm kinda seems like jongdae is a little more pissed than he should be (bc keep in mind its only a theory that theyre connected (even tho they are connected lmao)) so i wonder why that could be.........


	13. Chapter 13

**Jongin**

Jongin sat on a bench at Holland park. He hoped meeting with Jongdae in person would be better than messaging him this kind of news through a text. He was only telling Jongdae the truth because Chanyeol said it was okay. And well, Jongin already let the cat out of the bag anyway. 

He winced at that thought. Chanyeol might’ve said it was okay, but he still felt like he let his friend down. Though it felt nice not having to hold that burden any longer. 

Jongin looked around at the trees and flowers and the little kids running around and sliding down the slides. Finally, he spotted Jongdae walking towards him. His face did not look like his usual happy self. Jongin took a breath of air in and let it out.

Jongdae sat down more than an arms length away.  _ I wonder if he’s still hurt from our little split _ . Jongin shook his head ever so slightly. That was so long ago. So, no, this wasn’t about whatever had happened to  _ their  _ relationship. That had happened a while before Chanyeol and Soo broke up. 

“So are we just gonna sit here or what? I’m supposed to meet with Baek after this.” Jongdae sounded impatient already. 

“Listen I’m sorry for acting clueless I just- I just don’t really know how to say this.” Jongin’s voice suddenly wasn’t his own and he couldn’t meet the other’s eyes. He felt the tension leave Jongdae’s body. 

“What happened? What’s going on?” Jongdae said but this time a little more softly. 

Jongin took a breath and held it for a moment. “Dae,” then he remembered that they were no longer a couple let alone friends and maybe he shouldn’t have said ‘Dae’ but right now he was on the verge of tears and couldn’t give less of a damn. “Dae, Chanyeol is sick. Not just a cold sick. But a-a bad sick. He’s been getting chemo for months now.”

There. It was out in the open. Jongin wondered how Chanyeol even had the strength to tell anyone such a terrible truth.  _ Maybe this is why he couldn’t bear telling Soo.  _

Jongdae looked at him. The expression wasn’t clear, he looked angry, confused and annoyed. 

“Jongin what the hell are you talking about?  _ Our  _ Chanyeol?  _ Soo’s  _ Chanyeol?” His voice wavered slightly. But that was enough for Jongin to know that Jongdae  _ did _ know what he was talking about. He  _ did  _ understand. But understanding meant accepting. And well, no one wanted to accept that Chanyeol could die. 

Jongin knew he’d have to explain just a little more, “Chanyeol has been sick even before their break up, Dae. He thought it was best to let him go so it wouldn’t be painful.”  _ If he died,  _ went unsaid but Jongin knew he would understand. 

Jongdae opened his mouth to say something but then closed it just as quickly. They sat there in silence for a few minutes just staring straight ahead. At the flowers and trees and children. 

Laughter and beauty around them, yet so far away. 

Jongdae scooted over closer and laid his hand over Jongin’s.

“I’m so sorry, Jongin. I-I’m just so sorry.” 

And then they cried. Hand in hand. Surrounded by laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably my fav chapter that ive written so far. i love that even tho jongdae and jongin werent together and even tho they werent friends and hadnt talked in so long they still care for each other and will be there for one another in hard times. not gonna lie i love the ending of this chapter too!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chanyeol**

It had been two weeks. Before the illness Chanyeol could’ve kept up with the worry and anxiety of if Kyungsoo would message him and want to see him. But that’s not the case. Chanyeol’s pretty sure the pain in his abdomen was from anxiety and not his illness but still. Sehun had made him make an appointment with his doctor and Chanyeol was  _ not _ looking forward to it. But Sehun was waiting in the car and watching him to make sure he went inside. Yes, there had been times his friends would have to  _ walk in _ with him just to make sure he even went to the much needed appointments. But he decided to cut Sehun some slack and just go in. 

“You’ll be needing more treatments. I suggest staying at the hospital for at least 3 to 4 days at a time now. I’m sorry, Chanyeol. I know this is difficult if you need anyone to talk to, I know Winston Hospital offers support people for cases like yourself.” 

Chanyeol was silent for a moment, it felt like eternity. 

“Thank you Dr. Phillips, I need to go now.” Chanyeol rushed out of the room and he was pretty sure he heard his doctor call after him but Chanyeol didn’t want to turn back and finish the conversation. No, he didn’t want to hear about more treatments and support people. The treatments already took  _ so much  _ from him. Chanyeol wasn’t sure there was anymore left of him. 

As Chanyeol ran out of the building he suddenly remembered he’d have to face Sehun.  _ Shit.  _ But Chanyeol felt winded.  _ Very _ winded. He wasn’t used to running anymore. Then Chanyeol’s head began to spin. 

He thought he heard Sehun call for him but he wasn’t sure. He felt a pain in his knees. No, that wasn’t it, he  _ fell _ to his knees. Chanyeol began to choke. But he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink. 

_ I’m crying,  _ he thought. That’s why he was choking. 

“Chanyeol!” Sehun sounded very worried. He grabbed Chanyeol’s shoulders and brought him in for a hug. 

They sat like that for a while. Chanyeol being held in Sehun's lap. In front of the entrance of his doctor’s office. They had gotten lots of weird looks from people walking in and out. 

“Sehun it’s getting worse I think.”

“You don’t have to talk right now if you don’t want to.” Sehun sounded so much older. 

“Sehun, I'm going to have to get more treatments. Dr. Phillips even suggested a support person.”

Sehun just kept running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t say anything. But that was okay. Chanyeol didn’t know how long they stayed there but soon morning turned into noon and Chanyeol knew he’d have to get up and get going. 

They drove in silence. 

“Let’s get some ice cream.” Sehun said quietly. Chanyeol simply nodded and looked out the window and contemplated what it meant to go for more treatment. If Chanyeol wasn’t already a  _ ghost  _ of who he was. He sure as hell would be now. 

“I’m going to take the Doc’s advice and get a support person.” Chanyeol whispered, to himself or Sehun he wasn’t sure. But he knew he’d need someone who could be there constantly. Jongin and Sehun were certainly  _ always _ there for him. But they had  _ lives _ . They had work and they were finishing school whereas Chanyeol’s only real concern was his damn sickness. So he figured maybe a support person wasn’t such a bad idea. 

Sehun nodded, “I think that’s good Channie.” 

They ate ice cream and laughed about the days they had spent in college and yet it wasn’t sad. In fact, it was the lightest Chanyeol had felt in a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmm wonder who his support person will be......


	15. Chapter 15

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo meant to talk to Chanyeol. But the first week of knowing the truth obviously was  _ rough _ to say the least. He had to rebuild himself after that episode. So another week had passed. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. In truth, he was dying to see Chanyeol. He just wanted to see him,  _ hold him.  _ Though Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how Chanyeol felt. He knew how he felt himself and he missed Chanyeol. But in that second week he took care of himself, Jongdae and Baek were there for him. He was so grateful for them. Sometimes they’d be talking over pizza at Baek’s place and it’d hit him that Chanyeol was  _ sick.  _ And Kyungsoo would just burst into tears. How was he supposed to live when Chanyeol couldn’t? Jongin had only told Jongdae so much. Jongin had said Chanyeol had been stripped of who he had once been. Sure he was still the funny upbeat guy. He still was clumsy and laughed with his whole body. But he wasn’t  _ completely  _ himself. The sickness had taken some of that spark in his eyes. He could no longer laugh for a long amount of time, it hurt too much. 

Kyungsoo didn’t want to imagine that. A shell of Chanyeol. So he waited to contact Chanyeol. Kyungsoo wanted to be mentally prepared for whatever state Chanyeol would be in. Kyungsoo decided it was a good step to start talking to Jongin again. They had gotten coffee and talked for hours about what they missed from each other’s lives in those 4 terrible months. They skirted around the subject of Chanyeol. It was nice. By the time they had left the cafe and went their separate ways, Kyungsoo felt ready. 

So on the Monday of the third week, Kyungsoo finally messaged Chanyeol. He noticed Chanyeol’s name still had a heart by it. He considered changing it for a moment then decided to leave it. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Sehun**

Sehun cried the night Chanyeol told him he’d have to get longer treatments. He kept himself together the first time he went in with Chanyeol for chemo. He kept himself together when he would ignore messages from Kyungsoo, Jongdae, and Baekhyun. He even kept himself together the time Chanyeol mentioned he thought he’d be better off dead. But that night Sehun became undone. He cried for hours. He cried for every time he wanted to cry so bad but had to be Chanyeol’s rock. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Chanyeol**

Chanyeol had never been nervous for chemo before. Well, except the first time. But that was a given. Though today Chanyeol  _ was _ nervous. Today would start his rigorous chemo. He’d have to stay for a couple of days in the hospital while getting treated, then he could leave. Only to come right back for more after two weeks. Chanyeol was nervous for lots of reasons. He worried for how this would effect his body. He worried how his friends would react to his wrecked body. He worried who his support person would be. And he worried about when the hell Kyungsoo would meet up with him! It was already Monday! It’s been three weeks! He should’ve messaged him by now! Chanyeol thought he gave up worrying about it, but Kyungsoo was the love of his life, he couldn’t simply  _ not _ worry. Chanyeol's thoughts were interrupted by the nurse who hooked him up to the tubes.  _ Just wonderful.  _ Chanyeol hadn’t invited Sehun or Jongin because he wanted to do this on his own, minus his support person. He also didn’t want his friends to worry, to see him  _ that _ damaged. 

So Chanyeol sat in silence, alone. But then he heard a light knock on the door. Before he could even say come in, a man stepped in. 

“Hi, are you Chanyeol? I’m Yixing, your support person.” said the man who walked in. Chanyeol noticed the slight accent. He looked about Chanyeol’s age, he had black hair that was swept to one side and nice brown eyes. 

“I- yes. I’m Chanyeol. Nice to meet you Yixing.” Yixing smiled and got right to business. 

They talked for so long. They had so much in common. They had read the same comics growing up. Listened to the same obscure songs. He found out Yixing was from China. And he asked him many questions about what China was like. 

After who knows how long, they were interrupted by Chanyeol’s phone going off. He didn’t hesitate to read the message because for a second he forgot the anxiety he had, whether this was Kyungsoo or not. 

**_We need to talk._ **

Chanyeol read the message and found himself paralyzed. He wasn’t sure he was even breathing. Chanyeol wanted to curl into a ball and cry. He hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to even message him anymore. He figured he’d just die never seeing his beautiful face ever again. It had been practically three weeks. Part of Chanyeol was upset Kyungsoo waited so long to message him. Didn’t he care? Didn’t he at least want to say his goodbye  _ now _ ? While he was still breathing? Because if they couldn’t be together anymore the least they could do was say goodbye. The anxiety came back and he dropped his phone into his lap. 

“Chanyeol? You okay?” Yixing said in a calm voice.  _ He has such a nice voice _ , Chanyeol thought. 

“It’s my ex.” Was all Chanyeol could muster out of his mouth for the moment. He tried speaking again, “I broke up with him so he wouldn’t have to deal with  _ this _ .” Chanyeol finished, looking at the tubes in his arm. 

And then he told the entire story to Yixing. A man he had just met, because he was there for support. And Chanyeol surely needed some. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yixing is his support person!! also for clarification on the time line, theyve been broken up for four months. they broke up around February (?)because its summertime (may?) now. and kyungsoo found out on a saturday night. chanyeols talking about it being the first day of the third week, although hes acting like a third week has passed its actually only the start of the third week. it was my mistake but i dont really feel like fixing lmao. but yeah i didnt really plan out the timing of the whole fic so im making it up as i go along...oops hope it aint too confusing


	18. Chapter 18

**Baekhyun**

It was hard to cope with the news of Chanyeol’s illness. Baekhyun had barely gotten any sleep since he had found out. But he tried to push his feelings aside to be there for Kyungsoo. But whenever he wasn’t around Baekhyun would cry into Jongdae’s shoulder. And Jongdae would do the same. Though, they both knew that Kyungsoo  _ needed _ to talk to him first, it was hard not to rush over to his place and just say sorry. Sorry for being a shitty friend. Sorry for not questioning what was wrong. Sorry for not  _ being there _ . Baekhyun couldn’t stop thinking about if he could’ve just asked why he had broken Kyungsoo’s hearts. Why Chanyeol had broken  _ their _ hearts. Because Jongdae and himself certainly loved Chanyeol just as much as Kyungsoo loved him, only in a different way. Instead Baekhyun had been  _ angry _ . He felt blindsided and stupid. Kyungsoo felt sadness where Baekhyun felt the fury of losing a friend without even knowing why. 

Though now, Baekhyun wished he didn't know why. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just an fyi the last line is meant to be understood in the way that baekhyun wished he didnt know why because he wished chanyeol wasnt sick in general. not that he just wished he didnt know at all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo hasn’t gotten an answer until later that night. He was only slightly disappointed. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe Chanyeol has already moved on. Maybe Kyungsoo was his past while Chanyeol was still his present. But what they had was real. And he needed to know  _ why.  _ Why had Chanyeol lied to him? Why had Chanyeol kept such a thing from him? How long had he been sick? What had happened those months they weren’t together? It ate at Kyungsoo every moment he was conscious. But at least he had gotten a response. Kyungsoo pulled his phone from the charger on the nightstand and went back to their conversation. 

**_We need to talk._ **

**_Okay._ **

**_Thursday at Lake Eloise?_ **

**_Sure. Is 5 a good time for you?_ **

**_Yes._ **

**_Okay._ **

And that was it. Kyungsoo wasn’t really sure what to make of it. Sure there was barely anything to it but this was their  _ first _ conversation since their breakup.  _ Is he upset with me? Does he even really wanna meet up? No Kyungsoo, stop. This is necessary.  _

He wished it wasn’t. 

The next three days leading up to Thursday didn’t really exist to Kyungsoo. They came and went and Kyungsoo just went through the motions. With only Chanyeol on his mind.

He left his house 30 minutes early. Even though Lake Eloise was just 15 minutes away. He wanted to be there and prepare him for whatever state Chanyeol might be in. 

Lake Eloise was a pretty decent size. Though you could see perfectly across the other side. Him and Chanyeol had a certain spot they’d like to sit. Where the trees parted so you could see the sunset just perfectly. As Kyungsoo walked to the spot he hoped Chanyeol would remember. 

But then Kyungsoo found Chanyeol sitting, with his legs crossed, right  _ there _ .  _ He does remember, of course he does.  _ He saw the back of him. Chanyeol was looking off to where the sun would set in about an hour and a half. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure what to do. He thought Chanyeol would be late, like he always was.  _ I guess this was too important to be late _ . 

So instead of saying anything Kyungsoo walked up to  _ their _ spot and sat down, knees up to his chest, about a yard away from Chanyeol. He wasn’t sure why he sat so far away. It wasn’t that he  _ didn’t  _ want to be close to him. Maybe it was the nerves. 

Chanyeol slightly turned to look at him but then looked straight ahead just as fast. 

He looked more pale than usual. His hair looked thinner. The color seemed to be somewhere in between gray and brown. He noticed his arms were thinner,  _ less muscle.  _ Chanyeol had once looked very strong, though now he looked like he could fall over if the wind picked up too much. 

Kyungsoo didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was observing the other. He missed Chanyeol too much to be embarrassed. 

Chanyeol cleared his throat, “Hey Soo.”

Kyungsoo felt butterflies. He missed the nickname coming out of Chanyeol’s mouth. 

“Hi.” Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure he said it until Chanyeol responded. 

“I know you have a lot of questions. So don’t hold back. I’ll answer anything.” This time Chanyeol met his eyes. Something in them looked ashamed and something else looked like sadness. And his voice. His voice sounded so tired. Like he had a sore throat but still forced himself to talk.

Kyungsoo was silent for a moment. He broke eye contact. Suddenly this all felt like too much. He had  _ so  _ many questions. The anger started to bubble inside Kyungsoo’s chest. 

“Why?” As soon as the word slipped out, he realized there was so much venom and anger in it. 

Chanyeol winced. He should have already expected that. It only seemed to make Kyungsoo more angry. 

Suddenly Kyungsoo couldn’t stop himself, “Why didn’t you tell me? Why break my heart instead? Why would you do that?”

Kyungsoo was surprised how angry he sounded. He didn’t mean for it to come off like that. But he had felt sadness for  _ too _ long. He needed another emotion to feel. It just so happened that anger was the next best thing. 

Chanyeol hung his head low. He kept looking straight ahead. Whereas Kyungsoo was looking straight at Chanyeol. His body even turned to him as he got the questions out of his system. 

“Soo, I don’t know how to explain it. It was just an easier way out. It felt like the best option at the time.” He paused for a moment. “I thought it would hurt less if you had a chance to get over me.” 

He turned to Kyungsoo. His eyes looked sincere, and tired.  _ So tired.  _

Kyungsoo finally noticed how gaunt he looked, like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. His cheekbones were more prominent, they had once been full. 

“That what would hurt less?” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why he said it. He knew what the other was alluding to. But Kyungsoo was like a child in that moment, he needed every single detail to be explained. 

Chanyeol's eyes soften, “My death. That if I died it wouldn’t hurt you so much. I didn’t want you to be in any more pain than you had to be.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how Chanyeol seemed so nonchalant about it.  _ Because he’s been living with this reality for months where you’ve only just found out, _ a small part of Kyungsoo thought. 

Kyungsoo held a breath then released it. Anger still ebbing in his chest. But the sadness started to grow too. 

“You’re saying if. What does that exactly mean? Just how bad is this?”

“The doctors aren’t sure. It’s a 50/50 thing. But I think at the moment it’s getting worse. I’m having to get chemo 3-4 days every couple of weeks now. It wasn’t like that in the beginning.”

Chanyeol was looking directly at him. But it was Kyungsoo’s turn to hold his head low. 

“I-l”, Kyungsoo started to say but stopped. He felt his voice waver. 

He couldn’t hold it in any longer. Tears fell down his face and Kyungsoo wondered why he felt like he was dying when it was Chanyeol who was sick. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Chanyeol**

Chanyeol knew he wasn't ready to meet with Kyungsoo. Even if that's all he wanted the entire time he had been alone. The days leading up to that Thursday he had spent with Yixing. 

He was a breath of fresh air. He had heard Chanyeol’s story of breaking Kyungsoo’s heart, and he hadn’t judged him. He hadn’t said things like ‘why’d you do that?’ Or ‘was that really all you could come up with?’ Instead he had just been there for Chanyeol. And that’s all Chanyeol really needed. Yixing encouraged him to meet with Kyungsoo. He might’ve been the only reason Chanyeol went through with the meeting honestly. Chanyeol just didn’t want to see the pain he had caused Kyungsoo. That guilt was too much. 

But when he saw Kyungsoo it took everything for Chanyeol not to stare. Not to grab his hand. To kiss him. But that wasn’t appropriate for this first meeting.

When Kyungsoo began crying Chanyeol didn’t really know what to do. Is holding him going too far? 

Fuck it. 

He rubbed Kyungsoo’s back and brought him in for a hug. Kyungsoo didn’t back away from the touch, and he was grateful for that. 

His crying continued but he seemed to try and control his breathing. 

“S-so do you— do you still h-have feelings for me?” Kyungsoo whispered while looking off towards the lake. 

Chanyeol had not been prepared for that question. He knew how he felt but was he really able to commit? Knowing that he could die? 

“Kyungsoo…”

“Tell me the truth.” Suddenly Kyungsoo straightened up. He moved back a little. Chanyeol's hand was no longer on his back. The physical touch was gone. 

Chanyeol wanted to lie. He wanted to get up and walk away. It was better that way. He didn’t want to go dying on Kyungsoo and leave him alone. He knew that would break Kyungsoo in a way that he could  _ never  _ recover from. 

But Chanyeol knew he had ran once before. When he was scared of what the consequences would be. And look where he ended up anyways. So Chanyeol gathered the courage he received from Yixing. He gathered the strength Sehun always gave. And he gathered the love Jongin always gave so willingly. 

“I never stopped loving you.” The weight was off his shoulders. He felt as if he could fly. Chanyeol told the truth and it never tasted sweeter than this. 

Kyungsoo looked into his eyes and he saw relief. 

“I still love you too.” 

Chanyeol let himself smile. 

Though reality isn’t always as sweet as the truth. 

“But maybe, I don’t know. Maybe we take this slowly? There’s still— there’s still a lot of pain Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol felt his smile slowly die. He knew this was coming but it didn’t make it any easier. He knew he had hurt Kyungsoo too much to automatically be let back into his life, his heart, so easily. Even if he was sick. 

Chanyeol knew this was better than not being around Kyungsoo at all. 

“Like...we start over?” Chanyeol questioned. 

“Yeah, like we go on dates and get to know each other again. The people we are  _ now _ .” Kyungsoo smiled up at him and Chanyeol’s heart had never felt so full. 

They sat there, watching the sun set. Chanyeol managed to sneak his hand into Kyungsoo’s. And the other let him. Maybe Chanyeol could bear this sickness with Kyungsoo by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there you have it chansoo finallyyyyyy met up! but of course this isnt the end......


	21. Chapter 21

**Yixing**

Yixing was glad to be Chanyeol’s support person. They got along as if they were old friends. Which was nice since Yixing had no family. His only family was Junmyeon who was his oldest friend, from middle school. But right now Junmyeon was abroad doing medical studies. So Yixing decided to try something new. Being a support person. 

Yixing had encouraged Chanyeol to speak to his ex. It was something that they both needed. Chanyeol had seemed real hesitant but Yixing pushed for it. He knew what it was like to end on bad terms with someone. It didn’t feel too good. So he was glad when he got the call from Chanyeol, telling him about how the meeting went. He sounded so  _ happy.  _ A small part of Yixing wished he could’ve seen what he looked like being so animated and alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i think youll start seeing less and less of the others povs (baek, dae, jongin, sehun) but i will try to add them here and there. and ill see if we'll meet junmyeon and minseok or not it just depends on if i can fit them in naturally.


	22. Chapter 22

**Jongdae**

Jongdae was relieved when Kyungsoo told him the meeting with Chanyeol had gone well. That he cried for _only_ about 15 minutes straight. Jongdae was glad his friend held back though. That he didn’t rush right back into the relationship. He knew Kyungsoo was dying too. But Kyungsoo has also been so greatly damaged by what had happened and the news of the illness. They would take it slow. He was happy for his friends. He was glad this meant that the old crew could get back together. Though himself and Baek had not spoken much to Jongin, even less to Sehun, they now knew why they had stopped contacting them. 

He knew it could _never_ be the same as it once had been. Especially since Chanyeol was sick. But he hoped they could still get back some of what they had once had. However, Jongdae and Baek agreed to let Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have some time to themselves. Then they could all become a group again. 

Jongdae had missed that so badly, though he hadn’t admitted it to anyone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the last two chapters have been SHORT. but the fic is hitting a point where theres not much drama........YET >:)


	23. Chapter 23

**Kyungsoo**

Now of course Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting things to go smoothly. They had been separated for about four months. But he didn’t realize it would be this hard to just  _ talk.  _ They weren’t messaging everyday. Since Kyungsoo had made it clear, he needed time to readjust. He had been so used to his sadness and self pity. And the anger he held deep down. That to let it go, was no easy task. Kyungsoo was glad Chanyeol understood. He didn’t push for any more than Kyungsoo could give. But sometimes, late at night when it was just Kyungsoo and his thoughts, he wasn’t so sure this was the right thing to do. Yes, he still loved Chanyeol. But Kyungsoo also had to think about himself. And what it meant to be with a man that could very well die. Yes anyone can die at any moment but this. This was a sickness where no one really knew. Kyungsoo felt guilty but Baek had reassured him that it’s normal. Normal to look out for yourself and your heart. 

Kyungsoo was planning on seeing Chanyeol tonight at the movies. To see some action film the taller man had been waiting to see for a while. Kyungsoo was excited but nervous as well. It’s their first date. He wanted it to go smoothly. 

It almost did. 

After the movie ended they got something to eat from a local diner. Cheeseburgers and fries. They talked about the movie and Chanyeol seemed pretty upbeat but Kyungsoo noticed he didn’t really touch his food. 

“You’re not hungry?” Kyungsoo questioned. He figured it had been awhile since Chanyeol ate given they just spent the entire afternoon together.

That made Chanyeol pick up a fry and eat it. “Uh well, with the whole chemo thing my appetite hasn’t really ever been the same.” He added a laugh to lighten the mood. But it just made Kyungsoo sick. 

The mood had been ruined. 

“Oh yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t realize.” Kyungsoo said in a low voice. Eyes looking down at his half eaten food, he no longer wanted to eat either. Chanyeol smiled, “Don’t be Soo. It’s just the way things are now.”

That made a chill run down Kyungsoo’s spine. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Chanyeol**

It took everything to not text Kyungsoo constantly. To not be by his side. But Chanyeol knew the other needed space. So he let him have it gladly. 

The dates just seemed like old times. Until sometimes when Chanyeol's illness was mentioned. He noticed Kyungsoo still had a hard time around that subject. He didn’t blame him. It took Chanyeol a while to accept it himself. Though Chanyeol hoped one day it would get better so he could invite him to a chemo session. 

Chanyeol was driving to meet Jongin at a café. His last free day before his second intense chemo. He was planning on asking Jongin what he should do about Soo. 

“Just let him be.” Jongin took a sip of his coffee, then made a face because the woman hadn’t put enough sugar or cream in either of their drinks. Jongin liked things sweet, just like himself. 

“But what if he  _ never _ comes to terms with it? What do I do then? This sickness is a part of me now. There’s no denying it.” Chanyeol felt an anger he hadn’t even known was there. 

Jongin look out the café window, staring at the people walking about their day, stalling. 

“Listen you’ve been on how many dates? Three? It’s only been three weeks since y’all started dating again. Don’t rush it dude. You’ve known for months now and he hasn’t, he’s going to need a lot more time than that.” Jongin smirked. He was right. Chanyeol knew that. 

But maybe time was something that Chanyeol didn’t have. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last line was so sad for me to write


	25. Chapter 25

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo knew that Chanyeol wanted him to go to a chemotherapy session with him. But Kyungsoo just wasn’t ready. It had taken so much of Chanyeol. He couldn’t bear to see it  _ actually  _ happening right in front of him. So he told Chanyeol maybe another time. He was busy with school work. It wasn’t a total lie. Becoming a chef was harder than most people thought! Though Kyungsoo knew he couldn’t push it off forever. 

_ Just a little while longer _ , he thought. 


	26. Chapter 26

**Yixing**

Yixing spent the first days of the week with Chanyeol. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to see him until the day finally came. They continued to talk about anything and everything. Even after visiting hours because Yixing bribed the nurse with coffee for the next day. 

Though Chanyeol hadn’t seemed as upbeat on the third day of chemo, unlike the previous days, where he had been talkative. 

“Is something the matter?” Yixing said softly. Chanyeol was laying down in a reclining chair, facing towards the window looking out at the city. Yixing’s chair was about a yard from him, turned towards him. 

“Uh, no. I’m just thinking. What makes you come here?” The question caught him off guard, he choked on his sip of coffee. 

Chanyeol laughed. Yixing liked the sound of it. 

“I don’t know. I like to be there for people.” Yixing suddenly felt nervous. He wondered where this conversation was going. 

“My boyfriend doesn’t seem to want to come to these sessions with me.” Chanyeol said sadly, still looking out the window. He didn’t need to explain the story. Yixing knew they had gotten back together. 

“My friends say he needs time. And I understand that. But I just hope he’ll actually come around to it. Not denying the reality of my sickness.” Yixing wasn’t used to this serious Chanyeol. But he didn’t mind it. 

“Yeah must need time but, if you need him here, then you need him here. That should be enough to make him come to his senses and be by your side.” Yixing wasn’t sure why, but he felt his throat tightening as he spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmmmmmmm


	27. Chapter 27

**Baekhyun**

Baekhyun was excited to be throwing the  _ first _ big get together since the whole ‘Chanyeol is sick’ thing. Okay, yes, it’s more serious than that but everyone’s been depressed! So why the hell  _ not _ get drunk on liquor while eating pizza and wings? It’s been like a month and a half since Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got back together. The party was needed to mend the  _ group _ back together now. 

So he enlisted Jongdae to get the booze and while he got the pizza and wings. 

Kyungsoo arrived first, alone.  _ Hm I thought he’d come with Chanyeol.  _ And so Baekhyun asked, “Soo where’s Chanyeol?”

“Oh we were gonna come together but Chanyeol was running late so he told me to just go ahead and come.” Kyungsoo said while pouring himself some wine. 

As the night got later members of the group trickled in. The place felt  _ alive  _ with laughter and chit chat. Chanyeol hadn’t arrived yet but Baekhyun was beginning to get buzzed so the thought left his mind. 

Everything seemed to come naturally together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonder where chanyeol is...……………...


	28. Chapter 28

**Kyungsoo**

Kyungsoo was amazed what alcohol and food could do with such a dysfunctional group of people. It was like everything was forgotten. Everything felt right. Kyungsoo ate wings and sipped wine. An unconventional combo but still delicious. Though the one thing bothering him was Chanyeol. Why wasn’t he here yet? Just as he pushed the messaging app Baek’s door opened with a swing and Chanyeol shouted, “ I BROUGHT MORE BOOZE!”

Cheers everywhere. Everyone happy to be able to continue drinking. But then a figure followed Chanyeol.  _ Everyone’s here so who did Chanyeol bring?  _

The man looked pretty, like literally, pretty. His hair was curly and covered his forehead and he wore a light yellow fuzzy sweater. He was shorter than Chanyeol, though almost everyone was shorter than him. But his smile seemed so nice and suddenly Kyungsoo felt a bit insecure. Who was this? Why was he even here? This was a  _ friends  _ get together. 

Chanyeol cleared his throat, “Everyone I’d like to introduce my support person Yixing! He’s from China!” That made the stranger, Yixing, laugh and cover his mouth with his hand. Jongin went up to him and gave him a hug, “Thanks for being there for Chanyeol when we can’t!” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if Jongin’s shyness was taken away by the alcohol or not. But the words somehow stung Kyungsoo. He thought  _ he _ was there for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol walked over to him and put his arm around his shoulders, “I thought tonight would be good to introduce him to everyone, he doesn’t have many friends.”

Kyungsoo smiled, Chanyeol always thought of everyone else but himself. Though it somewhat bothered Kyungsoo that Chanyeol didn’t even mention the idea to him. Sure, he knew who Yixing was, but he hadn’t realized how much he meant to Chanyeol. 

“How thoughtful of you.” Kyungsoo said as he leaned into Chanyeol’s arm. 

Kyungsoo finished his cup of wine in one long sip. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Yixing**

Yixing couldn’t say no to Chanyeol’s puppy eyes when he asked him to go to a party. Yixing wasn’t sure what to wear or how to act with a group of people he didn’t know. 

But the night of, Chanyeol knocked on his door and suddenly the uneasiness was gone. He opened the door for the taller man and said, “Hey make yourself at home while I finish getting ready!” Yixing left before Chanyeol could respond. 

“Wow you're so tidy.” Yixing heard Chanyeol say as he walked towards his bedroom to find a top to wear. The house was small but cozy, Yixing made sure to have pictures on the wall of him and Junmyeon. 

“Who’s he?” Chanyeol said just as Yixing walked out of his room. He decided on his favorite yellow sweater and some blue jeans. 

Yixing turned to see which photo Chanyeol was talking about. 

It was of him and Junmyeon in New York on those famous red steps. They had underestimated the cold weather and were wearing only simple zipper up jackets. Their faces red but still smiling. Nothing could ever ruin their mood. 

Yixing smiled remembering the memory, “That’s Junmyeon, he’s studying to be a doctor abroad, he’s my best friend— family really.”

Chanyeol smiled at the picture, “Looks like you’re freezing your asses off.”

“We underestimated the cold New York weather.”

Chanyeol laughed, for the first time with his whole body, it looked like it pained him a little. But Yixing could imagine a time where maybe it didn’t hurt him so much. 

Then they were off. Driving in Chanyeol’s car, Yixing wondered what his friends were like. 

“Chanyeol, what are your friends like? You’ve told me about them but I’m just getting a little nervous…” Yixing was pretty sure he was blushing out of embarrassment, he hated to admit he was nervous. 

“Oh they’re amazing! Sehun is like a kid in an adults body, he's like my little brother now and Jongin is a literal teddy bear. He looks intimidating but he’s a softie. Jongdae is super chirpy and always has a smile on his face and Baekhyun is super outgoing whenever he opens his mouth you can be sure you'll end up laughing. I know you’ll get along well with all of them and nothing like a little alcohol to take the edge off.” Chanyeol said and turned to smile at him then focused back on the road. 

Yixing wondered what Kyungsoo was like, though they talked so much and even about his boyfriend, Chanyeol never really described him in detail. 

“And Kyungsoo?” Yixing was hoping he didn’t sound some type of way. He had no reason to. 

Chanyeol was quiet for a moment, “Kyungsoo? Well he’s—he’s different. He can be outgoing and then shy the next moment. Serious and reserved or totally out there. We’re opposites but then we’re the same person. You’ll see, I’m excited for you to meet him!” Yixing heard the love Chanyeol held for Kyungsoo in his voice, his answer. 

He smiled, happy that Chanyeol was in love with someone who loved him back, but he felt another emotion as well.

He felt jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh snap is Yixing developing.....FEELINGS??????


End file.
